My Christmas Spirit

I have had mixed feelings about many attitudes I've seen exhibited this Christmas. I thought at first, that I was annoyed at people who were 'bah-humbugging.' I've heard so many people decry the 'evils of commercialism' to the detriment of their own moods. I didn't understand that, but it wasn't the root of what was bugging me. I thought I was resistant to the 'shiny-happy Christmas spirit.' I'm not. I'm happy for people who are full of such nice shiny-happiness. I've seen people down on themselves for not being shiny-happy. That doesn't sit right with me. And, I think one of the things that I have reacted most strongly to this Christmas is people so stressed out by all they "have to do" for the holidays.

I think what it comes down to is that I'm frusterated and sad that people feel so many 'have-tos' about Christmas. People seem to think you have to feel good and full of Jingle Bells and Figgy Pudding, and if you don't feel good then Christmas isn't for you. People think they have to stress out about getting all their shopping done, planning the perfect meal, having to deal with relatives, etc, etc.

What I feel so strongly this Christmas is that it doesn't have to be anything. We don't have to be anything. Christmas is for people full of Jingle Bells and Figgy Pudding... Christmas is for people who don't know what to do with God anymore. Christmas is for people who are struggling with family situations, and illness, and loss.... Because Christmas is about God coming to earth to be with us where we are. The word 'Emmanuel' is so beautiful to me right now. "God with us." He is with us in our joy and giddy happiness, He is with us in our down-trodden spirits, He is with us in our questions--even if they are questions about HIM.

He is with us in our stress too... but why are we so tripped up in that? We are we 'have toing' ourselves to death? Why are we letting the places we have to go, the presents we have to ship, the shopping we haven't done, and the food that has to be perfect get in the way of the peace, the joy, the wonder, the comfort, the realness of Christmas? I hate the 'reason for the season' cliche. That's not what I'm talking about... I'm just talking about being so near-sighted that for some reason we aren't able to find ourselves in the picture of Christmas. Why do we do that?

This Christmas I am clinging to hope. I am trusting that there is joy. I am resting in the idea of God being with us... of EMMANUEL... even though sometimes I don't know who he is or what he's all about. I need to know that... my story isn't so different from the larger story of Christmas. I need to realize that my feelings of trepidation, uncertainty, questioning, and sadness don't in any way exclude me from the experience of Christmas.... Rather, those things connect me to THE STORY. I am so grateful to find myself there and know that somehow in my heart and in my life God will quietly, humbly come to be with me, to bring hope, and to remind my heart to sing even when I think I've forgotten the words.