Mommeee, I'm taking a bath here!
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Computer's Grand Adventure
This computer will begin a grand adventure very soon... So I will be blog light or non-existent until mid-September when I will be reunited with old, pokey, turtle computer (unless I write some today). Promise to miss me.
Here are a couple pictures of C to tide you over.
Here are a couple pictures of C to tide you over.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Blog Blocked
I'm feeling blog-blocked at the moment. Usually when that happens I spew off a bunch of randomness. I'm sure tonight will be no different.
My living room is currently one big chaotic pile as Andy is getting ready for pack-out. I've played secretary in my more altruistic moments of the evening, and kept a list of things that he has put in the 'pack pile.'
The days leading up to deployment really aren't any fun. I know I've said that before, but on top of all the sad and confusing emotions that come as you prepare to be apart for months at a time, there is the packing, the incredibly long hours (13 or so today), the snippy little detachment arguments (so far, so good there), and the difficulty sleeping because you can't turn your brain off at night.
At the moment, my husband has these weird long gloves and a funny grey face mask on... With shorts and a T-Shirt. I don't get it. At times like this, it's best not to ask questions.
I think that's a good place to stop, don't you?
My living room is currently one big chaotic pile as Andy is getting ready for pack-out. I've played secretary in my more altruistic moments of the evening, and kept a list of things that he has put in the 'pack pile.'
The days leading up to deployment really aren't any fun. I know I've said that before, but on top of all the sad and confusing emotions that come as you prepare to be apart for months at a time, there is the packing, the incredibly long hours (13 or so today), the snippy little detachment arguments (so far, so good there), and the difficulty sleeping because you can't turn your brain off at night.
At the moment, my husband has these weird long gloves and a funny grey face mask on... With shorts and a T-Shirt. I don't get it. At times like this, it's best not to ask questions.
I think that's a good place to stop, don't you?
Carolyn's Book
You're Adventures of Huckleberry Finn!
by Mark Twain
With an affinity for floating down the river, you see things in black
and white. The world is strange and new to you and the more you learn about it, the less
it makes sense. You probably speak with an accent and others have a hard time
understanding you and an even harder time taking you seriously. Nevertheless, your
adventurous spirit is admirable. You really like straw hats.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Hmmm....
You're Watership Down!
by Richard Adams
Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
A Date!!!
Today was SUCH a good day. We went on a date! It's the first date we've been on since Carolyn was born. That sounds really pathetic, I know. With everything that's gone on in the last five months it just wasn't feesible. There was settling in with a baby, me being sick, and how many trips to Illinois and back now? When Andy and I were together it just never worked out.
A friend at church has been begging to babysit, so we took her up on her offer this afternoon and went on a real life, bonafide, date.
We went to KFC and got chicken and such and had a picnic. We had a typical us moment when we realized KFC had failed to give us forks or napkins... That made it difficult to eat our coleslaw and mac-n-cheese, and complimentary cake, but we overcame with our resourcefulness. We went back to a beach we visited a few weeks ago and explored some of the trails there, and then, of course there was ice cream!!!
I was nervous about Carolyn. Save a few trips to the grocery store or to do errands she hasn't been away from both of us very much at all. And when I have left her with someone for a few minutes I usually came back to a frantic child. Today she was a champ. She LOVED playing with Sue and we came back to a happy little girl who seemed very pleased with herself.
It was just so wonderful to focus on 'the two of us' for a couple of hours. Of course we were anxious to get back to our little girl, but that time away was just what it should have been--refreshing and connecting. I again proved that skirts don't slow me down and I was pretty proud of myself for scrambling up and down trails and over logs, and through piles of driftwood. Andy was impressed too.
It was special too because we're almost to the end of our bonus days. It was a day to treasure up and soak in so that we can come back to it again and again during our time away from one another.
And I need to tell you that I love my husband. He is an amazing man. I am so grateful for him.
A friend at church has been begging to babysit, so we took her up on her offer this afternoon and went on a real life, bonafide, date.
We went to KFC and got chicken and such and had a picnic. We had a typical us moment when we realized KFC had failed to give us forks or napkins... That made it difficult to eat our coleslaw and mac-n-cheese, and complimentary cake, but we overcame with our resourcefulness. We went back to a beach we visited a few weeks ago and explored some of the trails there, and then, of course there was ice cream!!!
I was nervous about Carolyn. Save a few trips to the grocery store or to do errands she hasn't been away from both of us very much at all. And when I have left her with someone for a few minutes I usually came back to a frantic child. Today she was a champ. She LOVED playing with Sue and we came back to a happy little girl who seemed very pleased with herself.
It was just so wonderful to focus on 'the two of us' for a couple of hours. Of course we were anxious to get back to our little girl, but that time away was just what it should have been--refreshing and connecting. I again proved that skirts don't slow me down and I was pretty proud of myself for scrambling up and down trails and over logs, and through piles of driftwood. Andy was impressed too.
It was special too because we're almost to the end of our bonus days. It was a day to treasure up and soak in so that we can come back to it again and again during our time away from one another.
And I need to tell you that I love my husband. He is an amazing man. I am so grateful for him.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
And Then Again....
I'm second guessing everything I just wrote.....
It's easy to second guess in the face of inconsolable crying.
It's easy to second guess in the face of inconsolable crying.
Parenting Dilemma
So far I've found that you run into a lot of dilemmas parenting. That's a no brainer, right? So far I've encountered dilemmas about what to feed Carolyn, when to feed Carolyn, how to put Carolyn to sleep, when to let her cry, when to pick her up, and many others.
What I've found is if you go looking for information you find lots of different opinions. Usually, even if you don't go looking for information you get lots of different opinions. Everybody has an idea. Everybody knows what the problem is, and everyone knows the right way to 'fix' it.
When it comes to raging parental debates like whether to let your baby cry it out when they wake up during the night, or whether to comfort them each and every time they cry people get fiery. People get passionate. They know the right way to parent, and dagnabbit... people who don't agree are undoubtedly screwing their kids up.
Now, I'm naturally very sensitive the idea that I could be screwing Carolyn up. Andy rolls his eyes sometimes when he feels like I'm obsessing. I can be a bit neurotic.
But in my more rational moments this is what I have concluded:
Nobody knows the right way to parent because there is no one singular right way. When confronted with the confusions of parenting we're all strangers in a strange land.
I'm starting to think that as long as you're doing everything you can to keep your kid's best interests as the forerunning priority and you use common sense you're going to do ok most of the time (at least with the smaller issues). I find it hard to believe that Carolyn will be irrevocably psychologically screwed up because a couple of nights I let her cry for ten minutes or so until she went to sleep. I'm starting to think that those who hold religiously to one camp or another in these smaller debates over the sleeping and eating habits of infants do so more because of their own control issues, and perhaps insecurities rather than because they have some sort of superior knowledge.
So, I'm going to try to cut myself a break now and then. I'm going to do the best I can. I'll examine the options and try to do what is *BEST* for Carolyn. I'll make mistakes. But I can trust the resiliency of my child on some of these smaller issues and hopefully I'll remember to trust God with the collective helplessness and brokenness of Carolyn and I both when the biggies come up.
And if you ask me how to get a child to sleep through the night, or how often to breastfeed I'll probably be really annoying and say, "I don't know."
I don't know a lot now that I'm a Mom.
What I've found is if you go looking for information you find lots of different opinions. Usually, even if you don't go looking for information you get lots of different opinions. Everybody has an idea. Everybody knows what the problem is, and everyone knows the right way to 'fix' it.
When it comes to raging parental debates like whether to let your baby cry it out when they wake up during the night, or whether to comfort them each and every time they cry people get fiery. People get passionate. They know the right way to parent, and dagnabbit... people who don't agree are undoubtedly screwing their kids up.
Now, I'm naturally very sensitive the idea that I could be screwing Carolyn up. Andy rolls his eyes sometimes when he feels like I'm obsessing. I can be a bit neurotic.
But in my more rational moments this is what I have concluded:
Nobody knows the right way to parent because there is no one singular right way. When confronted with the confusions of parenting we're all strangers in a strange land.
I'm starting to think that as long as you're doing everything you can to keep your kid's best interests as the forerunning priority and you use common sense you're going to do ok most of the time (at least with the smaller issues). I find it hard to believe that Carolyn will be irrevocably psychologically screwed up because a couple of nights I let her cry for ten minutes or so until she went to sleep. I'm starting to think that those who hold religiously to one camp or another in these smaller debates over the sleeping and eating habits of infants do so more because of their own control issues, and perhaps insecurities rather than because they have some sort of superior knowledge.
So, I'm going to try to cut myself a break now and then. I'm going to do the best I can. I'll examine the options and try to do what is *BEST* for Carolyn. I'll make mistakes. But I can trust the resiliency of my child on some of these smaller issues and hopefully I'll remember to trust God with the collective helplessness and brokenness of Carolyn and I both when the biggies come up.
And if you ask me how to get a child to sleep through the night, or how often to breastfeed I'll probably be really annoying and say, "I don't know."
I don't know a lot now that I'm a Mom.
Monday, August 15, 2005
The Countdown
Any military wife will tell you that one of the worst things that you have to deal with regarding separations is 'the countdown.' The countdown in general is excrutiating. If you have a lot of prior notice, you have a lot of time for the knowledge that a separation is coming to hang over your head. If you don't have a lot of prior notice you have a shock to the system to adjust to.
We're in the last days of what has been a very long countdown. I have tried not to be too sad about them because these days are bonus. We didn't think we'd get them. They're a gift and by and large I want my attitude to be one of gratefulness.
But the truth is, I am sad. I get used to being with Andy again so quickly, and I adjust to him being gone so slowly. The last days are always some of the hardest because you can feel the time just slipping through your fingers. You go out and try to have fun and you really do have fun, but you do so knowing that it's going to be a REALLY long time before you can do said fun thing together again. Then you have to deal with the first days of the actual separation and those are pretty difficult too.
With just losing Mom, I am especially sad. To be honest at times I'm not sure how I'll make it through this. I know I will, but the always-onward outlook I'd been maintaining is gone and it's hard not to think that I'll just feel really bereft.
I write this not to complain, but to share. Unless you've lived this, you wouldn't know what it's like, now would you?
I don't want to be away from my husband. Six months (I hope only six) is a long time to be away from one's spouse. Most of the time I say things like, "Well this is what we signed up for," and, "This is just part of the game," when people talk to me about the separations. All of that is true, but what is equally true is that it's very, very hard.
I am sad for every milestone of Carolyn's Andy will miss seeing.
I am sad for every giggle he will miss.
I am sad for the Daddy-time Carolyn will be missing out on. She will miss the ways that he makes her giggle. She will miss being zoomed through the air like an airplane and the dozens of zerberts he gives her each day.
I am sad for every holiday that will feel empty without his presence (or Mom's).
I am sad for every night I will go to bed alone.
And given the climate of our world's situations, I'm scared too.
So anyway... I don't mean for this to be a pity party. I'm not asking for sympathy. This just is what it is. It is part of my journey and I blog about my journey, because I feel sharing the stories of our journeys is an important thing.
It is what it is, and we'll get through it. But tonight, I feel sad.
We're in the last days of what has been a very long countdown. I have tried not to be too sad about them because these days are bonus. We didn't think we'd get them. They're a gift and by and large I want my attitude to be one of gratefulness.
But the truth is, I am sad. I get used to being with Andy again so quickly, and I adjust to him being gone so slowly. The last days are always some of the hardest because you can feel the time just slipping through your fingers. You go out and try to have fun and you really do have fun, but you do so knowing that it's going to be a REALLY long time before you can do said fun thing together again. Then you have to deal with the first days of the actual separation and those are pretty difficult too.
With just losing Mom, I am especially sad. To be honest at times I'm not sure how I'll make it through this. I know I will, but the always-onward outlook I'd been maintaining is gone and it's hard not to think that I'll just feel really bereft.
I write this not to complain, but to share. Unless you've lived this, you wouldn't know what it's like, now would you?
I don't want to be away from my husband. Six months (I hope only six) is a long time to be away from one's spouse. Most of the time I say things like, "Well this is what we signed up for," and, "This is just part of the game," when people talk to me about the separations. All of that is true, but what is equally true is that it's very, very hard.
I am sad for every milestone of Carolyn's Andy will miss seeing.
I am sad for every giggle he will miss.
I am sad for the Daddy-time Carolyn will be missing out on. She will miss the ways that he makes her giggle. She will miss being zoomed through the air like an airplane and the dozens of zerberts he gives her each day.
I am sad for every holiday that will feel empty without his presence (or Mom's).
I am sad for every night I will go to bed alone.
And given the climate of our world's situations, I'm scared too.
So anyway... I don't mean for this to be a pity party. I'm not asking for sympathy. This just is what it is. It is part of my journey and I blog about my journey, because I feel sharing the stories of our journeys is an important thing.
It is what it is, and we'll get through it. But tonight, I feel sad.
We Took a Walk
We took a walk this morning and saw a seal, a few jelly fish floating in the cove, maybe 30 starfish hanging out on the floor of the water, and we got up close to the Lady Washington (the ship in the picture below).
When I take morning walks in Illinois, all I see is corn.
When I take morning walks in Illinois, all I see is corn.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
New Expotition Spot
After church today, we took off for an expotition at a Fort and State park that we've never visited before. We had such a good time. Again there were waves (Turns out there are more waves around here than I thought!). There were some beautiful overlooks where you could see the water which was so blue and clear that you could see all the pebbles under the water.
Carolyn was in a delightful mood all day today and we got to just sit and be as a family a couple of different times. She explored her Daddy's camera, enjoyed the breeze on her face, charmed the folk's in the lighthouse, and wiggled around in a blanket in the grass overlooking a stretch of beach.
We also explored an old light house. As I said below, I'm so intrigued by the lives of lighthouse keepers in the past. What an important, lonely job.
It was windy and sunny and cold enough to need a sweatshirt (which I purchased--It's pink! I've never actually DESIRED a pink article of clothing before, but I really like it!).
We don't have many more days left with Andy, so we're living them up as best we can. Expecially Carolyn! She's trying so hard to crawl before he leaves.
It's easy to live things up in a place as lovely as this though. Who has old-timey looking boats dock within view of their house? We love it.
So we're living, and resting, and enjoying, and being, and it is good.
A boat that's been docked in the cove near the place we're staying. We can see it from our deck!
Carolyn was in a delightful mood all day today and we got to just sit and be as a family a couple of different times. She explored her Daddy's camera, enjoyed the breeze on her face, charmed the folk's in the lighthouse, and wiggled around in a blanket in the grass overlooking a stretch of beach.
We also explored an old light house. As I said below, I'm so intrigued by the lives of lighthouse keepers in the past. What an important, lonely job.
It was windy and sunny and cold enough to need a sweatshirt (which I purchased--It's pink! I've never actually DESIRED a pink article of clothing before, but I really like it!).
We don't have many more days left with Andy, so we're living them up as best we can. Expecially Carolyn! She's trying so hard to crawl before he leaves.
It's easy to live things up in a place as lovely as this though. Who has old-timey looking boats dock within view of their house? We love it.
So we're living, and resting, and enjoying, and being, and it is good.
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A boat that's been docked in the cove near the place we're staying. We can see it from our deck!
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Friday, August 12, 2005
Addie, and Cindi, and Fay A, and Justakid, and Everyone
If you are one who prays, PLEASE pray for my friends at LCSC (Lung Cancer Support Community). The news there has been particularly dismal in the last few months. My Mom's passing was one of so many recently, and some long time much beloved members are just getting horrible news.
Pray especially for those that are having huge bumps in the rode. These folks are seeing recurrence, new staging, new mets, and all that goes with all of that. The collective heart of that online community is SO VERY heavy. All of us, but especially those whose battle has just become so much more intense, need many many prayers.
http://lchelp.org/
My heart just aches.
Pray especially for those that are having huge bumps in the rode. These folks are seeing recurrence, new staging, new mets, and all that goes with all of that. The collective heart of that online community is SO VERY heavy. All of us, but especially those whose battle has just become so much more intense, need many many prayers.
http://lchelp.org/
My heart just aches.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
100 Things About Me
I took my friend, Gina's (http://gina8724.blogspot.com/) challenge and this is what I came up with.
1. My name is Val
2. I have one daughter.
3. I’m married (to a wonderful man whom I adore)
4. I’m a Navy wife.
5. I don’t have a permanent address at the moment.
6. I stubbed my toe a couple weeks ago and tore some skin off and it’s just now healing.
7. I have freckles.
8. I have brown hair.
9. I go to church.
10. I try to love people like Christ loved people, and probably fail far too often.
11. I’m named after My Mom’s friend and my Dad’s sister.
12. I named my daughter after my Mom and my husband’s grandmother.
13. I like the beach.
14. I enjoy watching the sun set.
15. I’m scared to swim in the ocean because I’m paranoid about stinging creatures and other sea life
16. I spend way too much time on the internet.
17. I’ve spent a lot of time writing lately.
18. I’m staying at a really cute furnished vacation rental right now.
19. When I was in 3rd Grade, I had braces.
20. I used to have a huge gap between my teeth.
21. I still have a tiny gap between my teeth.
22. I’m a romantic, but I try not to be cheesy.
23. I’m a regular poster at 3 message boards.
24. I’ve met ‘people I knew from the interenet’ several times (like Gina!)
25. I like trees.
26. My favorite verse from the Bible is Jeremiah 17:7-8 (about trees!)
27. I still like to color in coloring books.
28. I love porch swings.
29. I’m going to a picnic today, but I’m not sure that I want to.
30. I love ice cream.
31. I frequently self-medicate with chocolate.
32. I don’t think there’s anything more comforting that Peppermint Tea in a big black mug.
33. I love the T.V. show Judging Amy
34. I read 22 blogs somewhat regularly.
35. I have trouble numbering things like this.
36. I keep several journals.
37. I hope to have a book published some day.
38. I may or may not be working on said book right now.
39. When I was in 3rd Grade I had to sing, "My Country Tis of Thee" every day.
40. My anniversary is June 29th.
41. I’m an INFP accorting to the Kiersey Temperment Sorter
42. Input, Developer, Connectivity, Cognition, and something else that starts with a C are my strengths on the strength finder
43. The primary stone on my engagement ring is a Sapphire
44. I love Italian food
45. I have a freckle on my middle right toe.
46. I met my husband in college.
47. I have a degree in Special Education.
48. I taught at one point for about 6 months.
49. Growing up, I never thought I’d move out of Illinois.
50. I’ve lived in Florida, and Washington and have traveled at least 16,000 cross country miles in the last two years.
51. I’m glad I moved out of Illinois even if it’s not a permanent thing.
52. I have a cat named Chester.
53. Growing up I had a dog named Sadie and I still miss her.
54. When I was little I had an imaginary friend named ‘Conky.’
55. It’s really annoying to me that so many of the items on this list start with the word "I"
56. From now on I’m going to try not to start any more items with "I."
57. I failed.
58. Growing up, I had a playhouse.
59. One of the things I enjoyed most in High School was Scholastic Bowl.
60. Band was also enjoyable to me.
61. Mandy Patinkin is one of my favorite actors.
62. Chicago Hope is still one of my favorite shows.
63. West Wing Seasons 1, 2, and 3 are part of my DVD collection.
64. Moline airport is my favorite airport from which to leave.
65. Daisies were the primary flower in my wedding.
66. My favorite scent is lavender.
67. Irises are my favorite flower.
68. My eyes are green.
69. While I was teaching the Home Ec. Teacher taught me to knit.
70. Currently I’m working on knitting a red blanket.
71. My hair isn’t colored.
72. Grey hairs have already made an appearance in my hair.
73. My parents helped to make me who I am and I think I had two of the most wonderful parents in the entire universe.
74. Questions are superior to Answers in my opinion.
75. Zimbabwe is one of my favorite words.
76. Fingernail sensations intrigue me.
77. My daughter has been exclusively breast-fed up to this point.
78. The house I’m living in at present has a water view.
79. When in Washington, I attend a Methodist church.
80. Last week, I visited Mt. Rushmore.
81. In addition, I toured a really funky sculpture garden.
82. Today, I haven’t had a shower.
83. In fact, I’m still in my p.js at the time of my writing this.
84. One of the things I’m known for is being a picky eater.
85. In the last few years I’ve learned not to be such a picky eater.
86. Vegetable consumption has become a more regular mealtime occurrence for me.
87. Broccoli and Asparagus still smell bad to me.
88. It is a rare occurrence for me to paint my fingernails.
89. One of my favorite things in the world is going barefoot.
90. This reminds me of my happy list which I have been keeping since High School.
91. Surprisingly, I have only one credit card.
92. Green is my favorite color
93. There was a pond near my house when I was a little girl.
94. Currently, I’m reading the book Blue Like Jazz
95. When I was little I didn’t like Winnie the Pooh very much.
96. Now I do.
97. The motto of my husband’s and my life together is, "Life is an Expotition. You’ll need a hat."
98. Yes, I do know that ‘Expotition’ is spelled wrong.
99. Words are something that I love.
100. Now, I’m done.
1. My name is Val
2. I have one daughter.
3. I’m married (to a wonderful man whom I adore)
4. I’m a Navy wife.
5. I don’t have a permanent address at the moment.
6. I stubbed my toe a couple weeks ago and tore some skin off and it’s just now healing.
7. I have freckles.
8. I have brown hair.
9. I go to church.
10. I try to love people like Christ loved people, and probably fail far too often.
11. I’m named after My Mom’s friend and my Dad’s sister.
12. I named my daughter after my Mom and my husband’s grandmother.
13. I like the beach.
14. I enjoy watching the sun set.
15. I’m scared to swim in the ocean because I’m paranoid about stinging creatures and other sea life
16. I spend way too much time on the internet.
17. I’ve spent a lot of time writing lately.
18. I’m staying at a really cute furnished vacation rental right now.
19. When I was in 3rd Grade, I had braces.
20. I used to have a huge gap between my teeth.
21. I still have a tiny gap between my teeth.
22. I’m a romantic, but I try not to be cheesy.
23. I’m a regular poster at 3 message boards.
24. I’ve met ‘people I knew from the interenet’ several times (like Gina!)
25. I like trees.
26. My favorite verse from the Bible is Jeremiah 17:7-8 (about trees!)
27. I still like to color in coloring books.
28. I love porch swings.
29. I’m going to a picnic today, but I’m not sure that I want to.
30. I love ice cream.
31. I frequently self-medicate with chocolate.
32. I don’t think there’s anything more comforting that Peppermint Tea in a big black mug.
33. I love the T.V. show Judging Amy
34. I read 22 blogs somewhat regularly.
35. I have trouble numbering things like this.
36. I keep several journals.
37. I hope to have a book published some day.
38. I may or may not be working on said book right now.
39. When I was in 3rd Grade I had to sing, "My Country Tis of Thee" every day.
40. My anniversary is June 29th.
41. I’m an INFP accorting to the Kiersey Temperment Sorter
42. Input, Developer, Connectivity, Cognition, and something else that starts with a C are my strengths on the strength finder
43. The primary stone on my engagement ring is a Sapphire
44. I love Italian food
45. I have a freckle on my middle right toe.
46. I met my husband in college.
47. I have a degree in Special Education.
48. I taught at one point for about 6 months.
49. Growing up, I never thought I’d move out of Illinois.
50. I’ve lived in Florida, and Washington and have traveled at least 16,000 cross country miles in the last two years.
51. I’m glad I moved out of Illinois even if it’s not a permanent thing.
52. I have a cat named Chester.
53. Growing up I had a dog named Sadie and I still miss her.
54. When I was little I had an imaginary friend named ‘Conky.’
55. It’s really annoying to me that so many of the items on this list start with the word "I"
56. From now on I’m going to try not to start any more items with "I."
57. I failed.
58. Growing up, I had a playhouse.
59. One of the things I enjoyed most in High School was Scholastic Bowl.
60. Band was also enjoyable to me.
61. Mandy Patinkin is one of my favorite actors.
62. Chicago Hope is still one of my favorite shows.
63. West Wing Seasons 1, 2, and 3 are part of my DVD collection.
64. Moline airport is my favorite airport from which to leave.
65. Daisies were the primary flower in my wedding.
66. My favorite scent is lavender.
67. Irises are my favorite flower.
68. My eyes are green.
69. While I was teaching the Home Ec. Teacher taught me to knit.
70. Currently I’m working on knitting a red blanket.
71. My hair isn’t colored.
72. Grey hairs have already made an appearance in my hair.
73. My parents helped to make me who I am and I think I had two of the most wonderful parents in the entire universe.
74. Questions are superior to Answers in my opinion.
75. Zimbabwe is one of my favorite words.
76. Fingernail sensations intrigue me.
77. My daughter has been exclusively breast-fed up to this point.
78. The house I’m living in at present has a water view.
79. When in Washington, I attend a Methodist church.
80. Last week, I visited Mt. Rushmore.
81. In addition, I toured a really funky sculpture garden.
82. Today, I haven’t had a shower.
83. In fact, I’m still in my p.js at the time of my writing this.
84. One of the things I’m known for is being a picky eater.
85. In the last few years I’ve learned not to be such a picky eater.
86. Vegetable consumption has become a more regular mealtime occurrence for me.
87. Broccoli and Asparagus still smell bad to me.
88. It is a rare occurrence for me to paint my fingernails.
89. One of my favorite things in the world is going barefoot.
90. This reminds me of my happy list which I have been keeping since High School.
91. Surprisingly, I have only one credit card.
92. Green is my favorite color
93. There was a pond near my house when I was a little girl.
94. Currently, I’m reading the book Blue Like Jazz
95. When I was little I didn’t like Winnie the Pooh very much.
96. Now I do.
97. The motto of my husband’s and my life together is, "Life is an Expotition. You’ll need a hat."
98. Yes, I do know that ‘Expotition’ is spelled wrong.
99. Words are something that I love.
100. Now, I’m done.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Determination
Carolyn is TRYING SO HARD to crawl. She's not there yet, but she's darn close. She's getting up on hands and knees and rocking. Sometimes she pushes herself back. The faces she makes when she's trying are just priceless. She's SO determined.
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Sunday, August 07, 2005
Sand and Surf
Today was Andy's last day of leave, so we took some time and went to a State Park to explore. It was a very beachy state park (and it was another beach with waves!). We liked it a lot. Carolyn was more aware of the waves than the last time she was on the beach. She made all sorts of happy sounds. I put her little toes in the sand and let the water wash up over them. She was NOT so sure about that.
I still just love the waves. Something about them is just comforting. Things can feel just awful and listening to the waves will make me feel like life contains beauty even though it hurts sometimes.
Life is just funny. It's so big, and hard, and wonderful, and horrible. I'm limping through this grieving stuff. When I say that, you might think that means I'm sitting around crying all the time. In some ways, I wish that's what I was doing. I seem only able to cope. I know the feelings will come, and as my friend, Amber said, I may deal by doing my "Val type of quietly imploding" dealing.
I am thankful for this time. I am thankful for the beautiful house we're staying in. I'm thankful for Carolyn and Andy and this gift of extra time we have together. I would rather be with Mom still, but if we can't be, I'm glad we have this short time as the three of us. I am thankful for beaches, and holding hands, and ice cream.
I am sad, but I am thankful.
Does that all relate to the theme of 'Sand and Surf?' Oh well. If it all doesn't, at least the pictures do.
I still just love the waves. Something about them is just comforting. Things can feel just awful and listening to the waves will make me feel like life contains beauty even though it hurts sometimes.
Life is just funny. It's so big, and hard, and wonderful, and horrible. I'm limping through this grieving stuff. When I say that, you might think that means I'm sitting around crying all the time. In some ways, I wish that's what I was doing. I seem only able to cope. I know the feelings will come, and as my friend, Amber said, I may deal by doing my "Val type of quietly imploding" dealing.
I am thankful for this time. I am thankful for the beautiful house we're staying in. I'm thankful for Carolyn and Andy and this gift of extra time we have together. I would rather be with Mom still, but if we can't be, I'm glad we have this short time as the three of us. I am thankful for beaches, and holding hands, and ice cream.
I am sad, but I am thankful.
Does that all relate to the theme of 'Sand and Surf?' Oh well. If it all doesn't, at least the pictures do.
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