Parenting Dilemma

So far I've found that you run into a lot of dilemmas parenting. That's a no brainer, right? So far I've encountered dilemmas about what to feed Carolyn, when to feed Carolyn, how to put Carolyn to sleep, when to let her cry, when to pick her up, and many others.

What I've found is if you go looking for information you find lots of different opinions. Usually, even if you don't go looking for information you get lots of different opinions. Everybody has an idea. Everybody knows what the problem is, and everyone knows the right way to 'fix' it.

When it comes to raging parental debates like whether to let your baby cry it out when they wake up during the night, or whether to comfort them each and every time they cry people get fiery. People get passionate. They know the right way to parent, and dagnabbit... people who don't agree are undoubtedly screwing their kids up.

Now, I'm naturally very sensitive the idea that I could be screwing Carolyn up. Andy rolls his eyes sometimes when he feels like I'm obsessing. I can be a bit neurotic.

But in my more rational moments this is what I have concluded:

Nobody knows the right way to parent because there is no one singular right way. When confronted with the confusions of parenting we're all strangers in a strange land.

I'm starting to think that as long as you're doing everything you can to keep your kid's best interests as the forerunning priority and you use common sense you're going to do ok most of the time (at least with the smaller issues). I find it hard to believe that Carolyn will be irrevocably psychologically screwed up because a couple of nights I let her cry for ten minutes or so until she went to sleep. I'm starting to think that those who hold religiously to one camp or another in these smaller debates over the sleeping and eating habits of infants do so more because of their own control issues, and perhaps insecurities rather than because they have some sort of superior knowledge.

So, I'm going to try to cut myself a break now and then. I'm going to do the best I can. I'll examine the options and try to do what is *BEST* for Carolyn. I'll make mistakes. But I can trust the resiliency of my child on some of these smaller issues and hopefully I'll remember to trust God with the collective helplessness and brokenness of Carolyn and I both when the biggies come up.

And if you ask me how to get a child to sleep through the night, or how often to breastfeed I'll probably be really annoying and say, "I don't know."

I don't know a lot now that I'm a Mom.