Mommy Dogma

I am finding the closer we get to this little one getting here, how very dogmatic EVERYONE is over Mommy issues. It's really more than a little frustrating, as everybody has a very firm opinion about what the right thing to do in any given situation is... And when you try to gather input from others about your own situations you get bombarded by the dogma.

Apparently, I am being induced on Wednesday... I feel very stupid to admit to you, that I did not realize that was what my doctor was planning yesterday even when he set me up with an appointment at Labor and Delivery on Wednesday. It was my understanding that we were going to 'take measures to soften the cervix.' But... that is just step one of what could be a long process. I am slightly annoyed that my opinion was not asked in all of this... nor was I really given the opportunity to give consent or refuse. Nor was I really filled in on what would happen and how it would go down/ That is partially because I was very overwhelmed at the end of my appointment yesterday and decisions were being made and actions taken at the L&D desk rather than... with me in a room with time to ask questions. I wish I had been thinking clearly, asking questions, and advocating... I'm going to consider what is happening and perhaps take measures to at least talk to my doc before Wednesday...

There are so many different camps about so many different things. Inductions, certain medicines, everything. What I find frustrating is when the primary people that you seek out for advice all have opposing views and think that people on the other side of their views are crackers. Makes me think maybe everybody is crackers.

I also find that people try so very hard to be helpful and really flop at it in situations like this. I've already mentioned that commiserating with me because others' labors came lots later than mine doesn't comfort me at present because of Andy's schedule. I find myself chafing to well meaning people's long, long, long list of 'things to try' to get things going. My doula for instance went on for about an hour yesterday of ways to get baby to not be posterior. I knew most of the ways... in fact I'd sent her a document I'd found detailing many of them because I thought she might like to pass on a comprehensive list to others in my position. What happens though when people are rapid-fire suggesting these things is I start to feel overwhelmed. Basically, after talking to her yesterday I felt that I couldn't sit down until after the baby gets here. What I heard last night was that I either have to be on my feet or on my hands and knees. Sitting is bad. Laying down is... mostly bad. Walking is good. Walking up and down stairs is good. Exercise x, y, and z good. Being on hands and knees doing this, this, and this--also good.... Dang! I'm tired just thinking of it... tired with achy knees!

And again I say--if one more person tells me to have sex I will... well, I'm not sure what I'll do, but I'm almost 41 weeks pregnant, and it's sure NOT to be pretty.

So at this point... a cave in Zimbabwe with easy medical access is sounding good. I LOVE hearing from people, and I NEED to know I'm supported... but when things cross from being supportive to preachy... it is hard to stay in perspective and be grateful.

I'm writing this thinking... will people be offended? Most of the people reading this haven't done the silly things I've mentioned... And I can't help but think that maybe hearing this now will help other people that read here (am thinking of two soon-to-be or trying-to-be Mommy's in particular A & J) to know that these feelings happen at 40 weeks and counting... So please do not anyone think that this vent is pointed at them, or feel that they need to be offended. I simply must muse at the difficulties of this place I find myself in.

Again... I would covet your prayers that this baby would turn and stop being sunny side-up... Drop in my pelvis... and that contractions would start so we can have this baby... preferably before Wednesday when... induction may happen.