Christmas Ruminations

So here's what I think.

I think we're all upside down about Christmas.

We spend all this time hustling and bustling and making it this huge big deal.

It's such a notably cheerful time of year, that people feel guilty when they need a refill on their cup o' Christmas cheer.

This year I learned even more about Christmas being a light in the darkness. This Christmas, I was really just feeling a lot of darkness. Grief upon grief will wear one down... missing one's husband will too.

I did'nt even want to look for the light in the darkness at times this year. That just seemed too much energy.

But... with an extra helping of grace, I was able to. I could only utter a haphazard prayer asking for slivers of light. And I found them. I found them in the hugs of my nephews and the smile of my daugher, in time with my sisters and brothers in law. In getting to know Andy's family, albeit under terrible circumstances.

And as I saw these slivers all I could think of was what a sliver of light even Christ's coming must have seemed at the time. Can you imagine? What's the big deal? Some rag-tag kid was just born in a manger of all places? Angels came to sing over this? They were hoping for a revolution here, folks!

When I picture Israel at the time of Christ's coming, I picture barrenness, dryiness, hopelessness.

And then a helpless baby comes to be the savior? Right....

But He was a sliver of light in the darkness. And as that child grew in stature and strength the sliver grew into a pillar of hope and light. And then... it seemed that it would go out... But in one triumphant sweep, what began as the sliver of light known as a helpless newborn, conquered darkness, and death (yes death!), and sin in a blaze of glory and victory.

So my prayer this Christmas, in the midst of my own darkness was that these slivers of light would grow... and that I would remember that humble beginnings of light in the darkness may turn out in suprising ways.

And above all that the joy that comes from that one triumphant blaze would be alive in me.

So I still belive it's ok to be less than cheerful at Christmas, and I think even with angels and wiseman it wasn't all hoopla that first Christmas. Most of all, I think Christ still penetrates the darkest darkness, Humbly, meekly, but completely and triumphantly.