You're Adventures of Huckleberry Finn!
by Mark Twain
With an affinity for floating down the river, you see things in black
and white. The world is strange and new to you and the more you learn about it, the less
it makes sense. You probably speak with an accent and others have a hard time
understanding you and an even harder time taking you seriously. Nevertheless, your
adventurous spirit is admirable. You really like straw hats.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Carolyn's Book
Hmmm....
You're Watership Down!
by Richard Adams
Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
A Date!!!
Today was SUCH a good day. We went on a date! It's the first date we've been on since Carolyn was born. That sounds really pathetic, I know. With everything that's gone on in the last five months it just wasn't feesible. There was settling in with a baby, me being sick, and how many trips to Illinois and back now? When Andy and I were together it just never worked out.
A friend at church has been begging to babysit, so we took her up on her offer this afternoon and went on a real life, bonafide, date.
We went to KFC and got chicken and such and had a picnic. We had a typical us moment when we realized KFC had failed to give us forks or napkins... That made it difficult to eat our coleslaw and mac-n-cheese, and complimentary cake, but we overcame with our resourcefulness. We went back to a beach we visited a few weeks ago and explored some of the trails there, and then, of course there was ice cream!!!
I was nervous about Carolyn. Save a few trips to the grocery store or to do errands she hasn't been away from both of us very much at all. And when I have left her with someone for a few minutes I usually came back to a frantic child. Today she was a champ. She LOVED playing with Sue and we came back to a happy little girl who seemed very pleased with herself.
It was just so wonderful to focus on 'the two of us' for a couple of hours. Of course we were anxious to get back to our little girl, but that time away was just what it should have been--refreshing and connecting. I again proved that skirts don't slow me down and I was pretty proud of myself for scrambling up and down trails and over logs, and through piles of driftwood. Andy was impressed too.
It was special too because we're almost to the end of our bonus days. It was a day to treasure up and soak in so that we can come back to it again and again during our time away from one another.
And I need to tell you that I love my husband. He is an amazing man. I am so grateful for him.
A friend at church has been begging to babysit, so we took her up on her offer this afternoon and went on a real life, bonafide, date.
We went to KFC and got chicken and such and had a picnic. We had a typical us moment when we realized KFC had failed to give us forks or napkins... That made it difficult to eat our coleslaw and mac-n-cheese, and complimentary cake, but we overcame with our resourcefulness. We went back to a beach we visited a few weeks ago and explored some of the trails there, and then, of course there was ice cream!!!
I was nervous about Carolyn. Save a few trips to the grocery store or to do errands she hasn't been away from both of us very much at all. And when I have left her with someone for a few minutes I usually came back to a frantic child. Today she was a champ. She LOVED playing with Sue and we came back to a happy little girl who seemed very pleased with herself.
It was just so wonderful to focus on 'the two of us' for a couple of hours. Of course we were anxious to get back to our little girl, but that time away was just what it should have been--refreshing and connecting. I again proved that skirts don't slow me down and I was pretty proud of myself for scrambling up and down trails and over logs, and through piles of driftwood. Andy was impressed too.
It was special too because we're almost to the end of our bonus days. It was a day to treasure up and soak in so that we can come back to it again and again during our time away from one another.
And I need to tell you that I love my husband. He is an amazing man. I am so grateful for him.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
And Then Again....
I'm second guessing everything I just wrote.....
It's easy to second guess in the face of inconsolable crying.
It's easy to second guess in the face of inconsolable crying.
Parenting Dilemma
So far I've found that you run into a lot of dilemmas parenting. That's a no brainer, right? So far I've encountered dilemmas about what to feed Carolyn, when to feed Carolyn, how to put Carolyn to sleep, when to let her cry, when to pick her up, and many others.
What I've found is if you go looking for information you find lots of different opinions. Usually, even if you don't go looking for information you get lots of different opinions. Everybody has an idea. Everybody knows what the problem is, and everyone knows the right way to 'fix' it.
When it comes to raging parental debates like whether to let your baby cry it out when they wake up during the night, or whether to comfort them each and every time they cry people get fiery. People get passionate. They know the right way to parent, and dagnabbit... people who don't agree are undoubtedly screwing their kids up.
Now, I'm naturally very sensitive the idea that I could be screwing Carolyn up. Andy rolls his eyes sometimes when he feels like I'm obsessing. I can be a bit neurotic.
But in my more rational moments this is what I have concluded:
Nobody knows the right way to parent because there is no one singular right way. When confronted with the confusions of parenting we're all strangers in a strange land.
I'm starting to think that as long as you're doing everything you can to keep your kid's best interests as the forerunning priority and you use common sense you're going to do ok most of the time (at least with the smaller issues). I find it hard to believe that Carolyn will be irrevocably psychologically screwed up because a couple of nights I let her cry for ten minutes or so until she went to sleep. I'm starting to think that those who hold religiously to one camp or another in these smaller debates over the sleeping and eating habits of infants do so more because of their own control issues, and perhaps insecurities rather than because they have some sort of superior knowledge.
So, I'm going to try to cut myself a break now and then. I'm going to do the best I can. I'll examine the options and try to do what is *BEST* for Carolyn. I'll make mistakes. But I can trust the resiliency of my child on some of these smaller issues and hopefully I'll remember to trust God with the collective helplessness and brokenness of Carolyn and I both when the biggies come up.
And if you ask me how to get a child to sleep through the night, or how often to breastfeed I'll probably be really annoying and say, "I don't know."
I don't know a lot now that I'm a Mom.
What I've found is if you go looking for information you find lots of different opinions. Usually, even if you don't go looking for information you get lots of different opinions. Everybody has an idea. Everybody knows what the problem is, and everyone knows the right way to 'fix' it.
When it comes to raging parental debates like whether to let your baby cry it out when they wake up during the night, or whether to comfort them each and every time they cry people get fiery. People get passionate. They know the right way to parent, and dagnabbit... people who don't agree are undoubtedly screwing their kids up.
Now, I'm naturally very sensitive the idea that I could be screwing Carolyn up. Andy rolls his eyes sometimes when he feels like I'm obsessing. I can be a bit neurotic.
But in my more rational moments this is what I have concluded:
Nobody knows the right way to parent because there is no one singular right way. When confronted with the confusions of parenting we're all strangers in a strange land.
I'm starting to think that as long as you're doing everything you can to keep your kid's best interests as the forerunning priority and you use common sense you're going to do ok most of the time (at least with the smaller issues). I find it hard to believe that Carolyn will be irrevocably psychologically screwed up because a couple of nights I let her cry for ten minutes or so until she went to sleep. I'm starting to think that those who hold religiously to one camp or another in these smaller debates over the sleeping and eating habits of infants do so more because of their own control issues, and perhaps insecurities rather than because they have some sort of superior knowledge.
So, I'm going to try to cut myself a break now and then. I'm going to do the best I can. I'll examine the options and try to do what is *BEST* for Carolyn. I'll make mistakes. But I can trust the resiliency of my child on some of these smaller issues and hopefully I'll remember to trust God with the collective helplessness and brokenness of Carolyn and I both when the biggies come up.
And if you ask me how to get a child to sleep through the night, or how often to breastfeed I'll probably be really annoying and say, "I don't know."
I don't know a lot now that I'm a Mom.
Monday, August 15, 2005
The Countdown
Any military wife will tell you that one of the worst things that you have to deal with regarding separations is 'the countdown.' The countdown in general is excrutiating. If you have a lot of prior notice, you have a lot of time for the knowledge that a separation is coming to hang over your head. If you don't have a lot of prior notice you have a shock to the system to adjust to.
We're in the last days of what has been a very long countdown. I have tried not to be too sad about them because these days are bonus. We didn't think we'd get them. They're a gift and by and large I want my attitude to be one of gratefulness.
But the truth is, I am sad. I get used to being with Andy again so quickly, and I adjust to him being gone so slowly. The last days are always some of the hardest because you can feel the time just slipping through your fingers. You go out and try to have fun and you really do have fun, but you do so knowing that it's going to be a REALLY long time before you can do said fun thing together again. Then you have to deal with the first days of the actual separation and those are pretty difficult too.
With just losing Mom, I am especially sad. To be honest at times I'm not sure how I'll make it through this. I know I will, but the always-onward outlook I'd been maintaining is gone and it's hard not to think that I'll just feel really bereft.
I write this not to complain, but to share. Unless you've lived this, you wouldn't know what it's like, now would you?
I don't want to be away from my husband. Six months (I hope only six) is a long time to be away from one's spouse. Most of the time I say things like, "Well this is what we signed up for," and, "This is just part of the game," when people talk to me about the separations. All of that is true, but what is equally true is that it's very, very hard.
I am sad for every milestone of Carolyn's Andy will miss seeing.
I am sad for every giggle he will miss.
I am sad for the Daddy-time Carolyn will be missing out on. She will miss the ways that he makes her giggle. She will miss being zoomed through the air like an airplane and the dozens of zerberts he gives her each day.
I am sad for every holiday that will feel empty without his presence (or Mom's).
I am sad for every night I will go to bed alone.
And given the climate of our world's situations, I'm scared too.
So anyway... I don't mean for this to be a pity party. I'm not asking for sympathy. This just is what it is. It is part of my journey and I blog about my journey, because I feel sharing the stories of our journeys is an important thing.
It is what it is, and we'll get through it. But tonight, I feel sad.
We're in the last days of what has been a very long countdown. I have tried not to be too sad about them because these days are bonus. We didn't think we'd get them. They're a gift and by and large I want my attitude to be one of gratefulness.
But the truth is, I am sad. I get used to being with Andy again so quickly, and I adjust to him being gone so slowly. The last days are always some of the hardest because you can feel the time just slipping through your fingers. You go out and try to have fun and you really do have fun, but you do so knowing that it's going to be a REALLY long time before you can do said fun thing together again. Then you have to deal with the first days of the actual separation and those are pretty difficult too.
With just losing Mom, I am especially sad. To be honest at times I'm not sure how I'll make it through this. I know I will, but the always-onward outlook I'd been maintaining is gone and it's hard not to think that I'll just feel really bereft.
I write this not to complain, but to share. Unless you've lived this, you wouldn't know what it's like, now would you?
I don't want to be away from my husband. Six months (I hope only six) is a long time to be away from one's spouse. Most of the time I say things like, "Well this is what we signed up for," and, "This is just part of the game," when people talk to me about the separations. All of that is true, but what is equally true is that it's very, very hard.
I am sad for every milestone of Carolyn's Andy will miss seeing.
I am sad for every giggle he will miss.
I am sad for the Daddy-time Carolyn will be missing out on. She will miss the ways that he makes her giggle. She will miss being zoomed through the air like an airplane and the dozens of zerberts he gives her each day.
I am sad for every holiday that will feel empty without his presence (or Mom's).
I am sad for every night I will go to bed alone.
And given the climate of our world's situations, I'm scared too.
So anyway... I don't mean for this to be a pity party. I'm not asking for sympathy. This just is what it is. It is part of my journey and I blog about my journey, because I feel sharing the stories of our journeys is an important thing.
It is what it is, and we'll get through it. But tonight, I feel sad.
We Took a Walk
We took a walk this morning and saw a seal, a few jelly fish floating in the cove, maybe 30 starfish hanging out on the floor of the water, and we got up close to the Lady Washington (the ship in the picture below).
When I take morning walks in Illinois, all I see is corn.
When I take morning walks in Illinois, all I see is corn.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
New Expotition Spot
After church today, we took off for an expotition at a Fort and State park that we've never visited before. We had such a good time. Again there were waves (Turns out there are more waves around here than I thought!). There were some beautiful overlooks where you could see the water which was so blue and clear that you could see all the pebbles under the water.
Carolyn was in a delightful mood all day today and we got to just sit and be as a family a couple of different times. She explored her Daddy's camera, enjoyed the breeze on her face, charmed the folk's in the lighthouse, and wiggled around in a blanket in the grass overlooking a stretch of beach.
We also explored an old light house. As I said below, I'm so intrigued by the lives of lighthouse keepers in the past. What an important, lonely job.
It was windy and sunny and cold enough to need a sweatshirt (which I purchased--It's pink! I've never actually DESIRED a pink article of clothing before, but I really like it!).
We don't have many more days left with Andy, so we're living them up as best we can. Expecially Carolyn! She's trying so hard to crawl before he leaves.
It's easy to live things up in a place as lovely as this though. Who has old-timey looking boats dock within view of their house? We love it.
So we're living, and resting, and enjoying, and being, and it is good.
A boat that's been docked in the cove near the place we're staying. We can see it from our deck!
Carolyn was in a delightful mood all day today and we got to just sit and be as a family a couple of different times. She explored her Daddy's camera, enjoyed the breeze on her face, charmed the folk's in the lighthouse, and wiggled around in a blanket in the grass overlooking a stretch of beach.
We also explored an old light house. As I said below, I'm so intrigued by the lives of lighthouse keepers in the past. What an important, lonely job.
It was windy and sunny and cold enough to need a sweatshirt (which I purchased--It's pink! I've never actually DESIRED a pink article of clothing before, but I really like it!).
We don't have many more days left with Andy, so we're living them up as best we can. Expecially Carolyn! She's trying so hard to crawl before he leaves.
It's easy to live things up in a place as lovely as this though. Who has old-timey looking boats dock within view of their house? We love it.
So we're living, and resting, and enjoying, and being, and it is good.
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A boat that's been docked in the cove near the place we're staying. We can see it from our deck!
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